Memorable Haunted House Quotes

Since 1989, traveling through the Jaycee haunted House, we’ve heard some pretty strange things:

  • Just as I suspected, FOUL PLAY!
  • I waxed her!
  • You don’t know me, I don’t know you
  • So! You want to see the mayor!
  • Thanks for the ride, lady!
  • The eyes! Follow you around!
  • The spirits have been waiting for you!
  • For fifty long years I’ve hunted the great beast, never once laid eyes on it!
  • Say hello to Bosco!
  • Back from the grave, my harpoon in hand, I vow I will hook him tonight!
  • Shut up and deal the cards!
  • This way! Which way? That way!
  • Turn to your right! {Crashing noise} Your OTHER right!
  • Follow the sound of my voice!
  • Off with your head!
  • Far away… Keep away…. Far away… Keep away….
  • RATS! They say the walls are filled with rats!
  • Welcome to the Greatest Show on Earth!
  • EVIL! Beware the corn!
  • Mother isn’t quite herself this evening.
  • Step into my office please I’ll be with you shortly. Whaddya mean you don’t have the money???
  • Every time I drive this road I hit a tree!
  • No soup for you!
  • Watch out for the train!
  • Dewey, Cheatum & Howe
  • Well, I see you found your way into my mine!
  • Don’t touch the candles.
  • Robert! It’s JULY!
  • Unobtanium
  • I’ve got a bad feeling about this!
  • I HAVE A REALLY SPECTACULAR FEELING ABOUT ALL OF THIS
  • Do we dare enter the realm of the Queen of the Fallen Angels?
  • Some say the floor goes up, others say the ceiling comes down.
  • I need my pain!
  • Isn’t that a pizza oven?
  • The old man with the pale blue eye? I buried him under the floor!
  • KRUGA! DA KRUGA!
  • The star gate, the maze of lost souls…
  • We’re going to attempt time travel.
  • How many pancakes does it take to shingle an elephant?
  • Welcome to my laboratory, I’m searching for some heads!
  • I want that map!
  • Do these tights make my ass look fat?
  • I can’t believe it, my team is awful this year!
  • Ghoul, if you will please!
  • Want some evil-Emeril soup?
  • First year students are not allowed in the planetarium! You have no idea, the power of the Cosmos!
  • Bedtime check!
  • Old man Fixum
  • Grandfather, is that you?
  • Laundry five dollars a load? Foxworth University looked much better in the brochures!
  • Primrose!
  • Name’s Jones: great explorer! Look a trap door! Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?
  • Got milk?
  • Where be the Ghost Hunters?
  • Does anyone need to see the doctor?
  • I know there’s a curse because I stole this 100 years ago!
  • I’m searching for the treasure of the great dead king, Inky-Minky
  • We call them the Krug
  • Acorn Jalopy!
  • Pay attention, I’m only gonna show you this once!
  • Suicide? Why that’s the silliest thing I ever heard, suicide!
  • This here’s a bank robbery!
  • I ain’t got no gun!
  • Ah, Clem’s friends, no doubt.
  • Hurry up or you’ll miss the hanging!
  • Why you low-down, dirty rotten, skunk sniffing, yellow-bellied, Yankee-loving snake in the grass!
  • This here’s my stage-a-ma-coach!
  • Well I need a shave!
  • Sir, scouts report the Indians are coming!
  • I told them that and you know what? They really couldn’t care less!
  • Colonel Lee Johnson, are you ready to hang for your crimes?
  • I don’t think so!
  • I heard this was an Indian burial ground.
  • Well, this looks like a thirsty little group!
  • What are you doing out here frolicking? It’s not safe!
  • You’ll be cursed forever!
  • I warned them, especially that one there!
  • Train can’t get through with all these dead bodies on the tracks!
  • My god man, drilling holes in his head’s not the answer! The artery must be repaired!
  • Oh, no! it’s the bear!
  • Welcome to Dead Man’s Gulch
  • We was just reading us the bible!
  • Do unto others (repeatedly)
  • I asked for recruits and this is what you brought me?
  • Did I get him? I’m blind in my left eye!
  • Don’t you hate Perry’s wife?
  • I hear vampires can fly. Sometimes they fly over my bed at night.
  • Is that you people making all that noise? I was just about to tell these people about the murders. Not only have they not found the killer, they haven’t even found the bodies!
  • He told me so himself! And Me Too! And Me Too!
  • Handsaws aren’t scary!
  • Bloody llama!
  • La-la la-la-la, you’re gonna diiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee {evil laugh}
  • Draw your weapon! You’re a dead man!
  • As you can see I’m a doll maker and I like to make my dolls as real as possible
  • I’m sick and tired of this! People keep leaving these stiffs on my lawn!
  • This is an eight foot skull warrior and this… is Ultimate Evil!
  • Veronica! It’s bed time!
  • There’s nothing under the bed! Did you ever find that stupid hamster?
  • This is the asylum in which I hide, who let you clowns inside?
  • The Klingons are about to invade our galaxy! Do you mean to say they want to invade Uranus?
  • Look out for the snake!
  • I am there, I am here, I am everywhere!
  • Daddy, Harry is a little hamster! This was big and it went RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
  • We’re entering Nolin’s realm!
  • Captain! We’ve got problems!
  • Ah, I’m sick of this, I’m going to the bar!
  • Silence, wench! Morte! Morte!
  • Any of you know what a bayou is?
  • Get out of my plane!
  • We found the temple!
  • You have found the treasure of King Fiz!
  • Jaycee archeologists unearthed the tomb of the great dead king, Inky Minky
  • Disappeared?! We didn’t disappear, you abandoned us!
  • Precisely what is your purpose in all this?
  • Bob Gillis, you are the best haunted house guide ever.
  • Is anyone here a Paleontologist? We’re in desperate need of a Paleontologist!
  • The diamonds are cursed, everything in this jungle is cursed!
  • YOU’VE DOOMED US ALL
  • The trick is over, I do not lie! Get out now or you will die!
  • Zeta Reticuli!
  • See the stars, see the stars, glowing on the wall, see the stars, see the stars, try and count them all!
  • ZION RAVE!
  • I am Madame Bijou, it’s been 84 years since anyone has seen my priceless art treasures.
  • Look at the artist’s use of color, it’s like being in a dream or something. There’s truth but no logic!
  • Do you have any last words?
  • Sara Livingston
  • Don’t go in the cave.
  • Did the lights go out?
  • Foxboro 2004? This looks like a medieval torture chamber!
  • John! Look out behind you!
  • I recognize this! There should be a glove in the stove!
  • The Zombex Virus!
  • You are the first to dawn eyes on such a morbid creature
  • Krystie, wake up!
  • I’m John Kerry. And I approve of this Haunted House .
  • Here we have “Starry Night” and a picture of a moose
  • They’re called “The Cry”
  • Beautiful pirate paraphernalia from the production of Pirates of Penzance.
  • Don’t wake up Laughing Myrtle.
  • I can’t seem to figure out where this last wire goes.
  • There may be an actor hanging around.
  • Don’t you think the theater could afford an electrician?
  • Get your grubby hands off my costumes.
  • Hyacinth, Hyacinth, the light shines on Hyacinth! I lived for that role and she took everything from me!
  • I found you rolling sailors for 25 cents each behind the Ancient Mariner.
  • I found you in a dumpster behind Supercuts
  • Take your tokens, and your posters, and your trunks, and get out.
  • “Break time!” {5 seconds pass} “…Break’s over!”
  • I am Mr. Webbingham.
  • Just sing the song, lady.
  • Mr. Gillis, I’ve performed in Shakespearean plays shorter than your skit.
  • My fans! You must be here for an autograph. Let me get a pen.
  • Oh, stop it Richard, you’ll give yourself a nosebleed.
  • Please turn off your cell phones and vibrators.
  • POPCORN!
  • She’s a better actress drunk than you are sober.
  • I want you on stage in one minute or you’re fired.
  • The portraits are so lifelike.
  • I told you not to cut the leg!
  • The sandbags remind some people of body bags.
  • We hired an exterminator but haven’t seen her since.
  • Would you like to try out for a part?
  • Pay no attention to the pesky unfortunate creature in the cell
  • You condemn us to death for crimes we have not committed For that which you do tonight, and for that which you will do in the future, you will become that which you fear the most.
  • This looks like a safe place
  • I didn’t think my new specimens would arrive so soon!
  • PS find Robert Langdon
  • LB find George Takei
  • Boo, get out!

 

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