What’s a frog award?
We retired the frog award a few years back, but for decades it produced a LOT of laughs! History:
Each month, in addition to the recognition awards for GOOD achievement, we also award one member a “frog.” This is awarded in honor of “Certain management skills the recipient would just as soon forget.” In other words, the Frog is given to the Jaycee who has made the biggest snafu / goof-up / screwup / blunder of the month. And at the installation banquet, we award the frog of the year to the person who made the BIGGEST and most SPECTACULAR goof!
Frog awards are awarded for all sorts of reasons (see the massive list below) but we Jaycees like to keep the details internal to the chapter — it’s just a way for us to blow off some steam, and frogs are always awarded with humorous teasing in mind — never meant to hurt or offend.
So the details of the award winning recipients are not published on the website. We’d never want something to be taken out of context, or someone to feel bad, so if you want to know what goofy thing one of the Jaycees did this month, you’ll have to come to our meetings (or perhaps join us for the fun!)
Frogs can be awarded for all sorts of activities, including, but not limited to:
Good intentions gone horribly wrong
Public displays of dancing
Humorous skiing antics
Taping over a copy of the Foxboro Jaycees Cable Access Public Service Announcement — which took a year to create — with six hours of “Days of Our Lives” (Frog of the year winner!)
Starting fires
Improper use of a wetsuit
Excessive crabbiness
Grievous lack of common sense
Being photographed passed out drunk at Jaycee events — repeatedly
Excessive public displays of affection for fellow chapter members
Showing up a week late for the pancake breakfast (on Easter Sunday, no less)
Having only one… shall we say, “Personal undergarment”… on a skiing trip
Walking across a softball game to tell your husband to come out of the rain
Forgetting the date of the project you are chairing
Expressing waaayyyyyy too much interest in adult movies and their related Internet sites
Publishing the entire chapter’s ages in the Wise Fox
Losing a child’s Christmas letter to Santa Claus
Starting the car that’s been sitting in your driveway for years and realizing that the leaves that have accumulated underneath it are on fire
Calling someone at 12:45AM on Christmas Eve for no apparent reason, and then asking, “Were you sleeping?”
Starting a fire at on the ski trip that forced the evacuation of the entire ski lodge on the coldest night of winter (Frog of the year winner!)
Discovering that STAR-72 will forward ALL your phone calls to someone else — a day later.
While discussing replacing the Easter Bunny costume head, repeatedly asking how much good head costs.
Driving your lawn-mower into the garage… and right into the Jaycee popcorn machine, destroying it.
Posting the message on Facebook that you could never, ever win the frog of the year (won it the next day)
Consistently making statements that are outrageously inappropriate and/or being unaware how outrageously inappropriate your comments are
Sending a donation to a dead person
Telling a very attractive woman, “Nice tomatoes!” but not making it clear you were talking about her vegetable garden
Trying zip-line for the first time and smashing into a tree
Frantically trying to open your “frozen” car doors only to realize that the doors are, um, locked.
Showing up for the first time of the season the night before haunted house opens and offering your unwanted critiques of the work that has been done the previous three months
Wearing a winter hat so garish that it could induce epileptic seizures if stared at for too long
Walking in front of the dart board while a game (and flying dart death missiles) were in play
Making hilariously inappropriate comments and not realizing how hilariously inappropriate they are
Leaving a… shall we say, personal massage device… on your kitchen counter
Driving a golf cart around Camp Lincoln Hill at roughly half the speed of sound
At Trivia night, telling one of your team members his answer to a question (about MASSACHUSETTS) wasn’t right, discouraging him from suggesting it — which cost the Jaycees the win.
Repeatedly insisting that you don’t know where the chapter’s walkie-talkies are – while other members looked everywhere for months to finds them – and then realizing they were in your basement the entire time. (Frog of the year winner!)
Walking into a house and saying, “I’m here to stuff eggs!” and realizing that the reason you don’t recognize any of these “new Jaycees” is that the Easter Egg stuffing party is actually a few houses down the street.
Stopping two people and asking if they have tickets to enter the haunted house, only to realize the two people are the chairman and co-chair of the haunted house
Being a former chapter president, and being asked, “What are the responsibilities of the Individual Development Director?” and responding, “Ahhhh… ahhh… I’m not exactly sure… let me get back to you”
After making an incomprehensible speech about “Mr. Bob,” giving the frog of the year to YOURSELF (Frog of the year winner!)
Being the chairperson of Cooking 101 and putting a pizza box in the oven which promptly bursts into flames … and doing the exact same thing years later
Leaving the grille on your wooden back porch ON HIGH FLAME all weekend while you were away
Breaking into your own house and THEN remembering where you hid the spare key
Telling your haunted house group to, “Shut off your cell phones and vibrators”
Locking yourself out of your house at 5am wearing only a towel (and doing other really embarrassing things as well — constantly) (Frog of the year winner!)
Making such excessive unwanted romantic overtures toward a man that he publicly renounces his heterosexuality to make you go away
Dropping and breaking year-end awards thirty seconds after leaving the award store
For chairing the progressive dinner and not bothering to proofread the invitation letters, resulting in confusion and sending dozens of calls to the wrong dessert house
For showing up at your progressive dinner house, walking in, announcing “We’re here!” and realizing that 1) The people looking back at you have absolutely no idea who you are (because you are in the wrong house); 2) Missing all the clues that the progressive dinner was actually NEXT DOOR, including: The house next door has all the cars parked in front of it, the door is open, and your Jaycee friend’s distinctive work truck parked in front of it.
Being a former chapter president and forgetting to pass along the “President’s Book” to your successor — for three years.
Getting so lost on the camping/hiking trip that park rangers were called in to search for you
Rushing to catch a flight and realizing you went to the wrong airport in the wrong city
Repeatedly posting incorrect dates on the web site
Spam-emailing the Jaycees a picture of a critically wounded Easter Bunny
Causing people to flee when you pick up a power tool of any kind
Dating a stalker
Being a smartass
Not showing up for the project you were chairing
Taking your boat out in November in New England and falling out of it into the water — twice (Frog of the year winner!)
Sending hilariously inappropriate greeting cards — for example, “Get well soon” for food poisoning with a big picture of chicken soup, sending a “congratulations on the baby” to someone who was never pregnant, etc.
Submitting a goofy, unflattering and embarrassing picture of the Jaycees at “Relay for Life” to the NATIONALLY PUBLISHED US Jaycees Magazine, and wondering what all the fuss is about when it gets published. Nationwide.
Turning a walk through Disney World into a regimented death march
Taking the tour of the haunted house and jumping back in fear so quickly that you accidentally 1) punch your husband in the jimmies, 2) demolish your husband’s nose 3) and render your husband nearly unconscious in 2 seconds.
Completely dropping the ball on your responsibility to present the frog of the year winner — which you won the previous year — by ditching your Jaycee friends, not picking a winner, not taking any notes during the year, not writing a skit, and not even ensuring that the award got to the banquet, even though you had ONE YEAR to prepare for the thing (Frog of the year winner — two in a row!)
Asking where “Caroling on the Common” will be held this year (hint: READ THE NAME OF THE PROJECT!)
Miscounting the number of attendees at Senior Appreciation day and adding so many extra raffle tickets that the raffle seemed never-ending
Oh, and this one time, at band camp…
Presenting an important haunted house breakup party speech while your blood alcohol level was, shall we say, elevated (Frog of the year winner!)
For various canoe trip antics including demanding your breakfast be made for you, loading your canoe backwards, and not bringing any of the required gear.
Your wife is in CHINA on business, roughly 6750 miles and 12 time zones away, and kindly calls you in the evening back here in Foxboro to see how you’re doing. What she hears is deafening noises, noisy cars, and sirens, and what sounds like bombs going off. “I CAN”T TALK NOW!” you say curtly, and hang up, leaving your poor wife — halfway across the Earth with no way to get back in touch with you, worrying for hours that the ambulance was taking you, possibly gravely injured, to the hospital as the bombs were going off. Later, when she calls again and is able to get through, you explain that you were at the movies, seeing “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” (apparently during one of the very loud parts) and didn’t want to be disturbed…
Sharing WAYYYYYYY too many details of your personal life
Sharing WAYYYYYYY, WAYYYYYYY, WAYYYYYYY too many details of your personal life
and finally, two words: Latex Elmo.
Remember: Never let the truth get in the way of a good story!
